SUSE buys itself a "COVID 19 Hero" award. Not joking.

Date:
Thu, 10 Feb 2022 04:53:15 GMT

Description:
Also buys their CEO "Woman of the year" award. Also not joking.

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Some companies love to buy themselves awards. Or give themselves (and their partners) made up awards.

Its not uncommon especially among business-centric companies to do this. And it is just as utterly ridiculous as it sounds.

It merits pointing at and laughing about . Because, come on. Thats funny. It is, essentially, a plot from The Office. Only in real life.

One company, in the Tech Industry, that seems absolutely obsessed with buying itself awards is SUSE.

Note: I used to work for SUSE. In the marketing department. For a good four years, I was their token Linux-guy (because most of the marketing folk at SUSE, a company founded on supporting Linux, didnt use Linux).

Here are three examples from the last year, all of which happened within
weeks of each other. Each gave me a good chuckle. SUSE proclaimed Brother-in-Law of the Year by brother-in-law

The first comes from June 22 of 2021: SUSE announced that they won the HPE Global Technology Partner of the Year award.

At first glance this is pretty bland. This is one of those Companies give each other awards so they can have some pretend news about how great they are things. No biggy.

Companies that work together do these sorts of things all the time and they really are pretty meaningless. (I should know. Ive written more than my fair share of articles, blog posts, and press releases about exactly these sorts
of pointless awards. Thank heavens I dont need to do that anymore!)

So why am I mentioning this particular one? Why not just ignore it
completely?

Im going to repeat the award here

HPE Global Technology Partner of the Year award to SUSE.

It just so happens that, back in 2016 SUSEs then-parent company (Micro Focus) merged with a large portion of HPE (Hewlett Packard Enterprise).

As a result, SUSE and a big portion of HPE became the same company . They merged. I remembered this because I was there when it happened . I helped make those announcements.

Flash forward to 2021, and the rest of HPE just gave SUSE an award for being
a good partner.

Then the CEO of SUSE took to Twitter to declare What an honor! I would link
to this Tweet. But the CEO of SUSE has deleted it. My guess is she realized how ridiculous it was.

Lets put this in terms of every-day life

This is sort of like if your brother-in-law gives you a best brother-in-law coffee cup.

Then you hop on Twitter, posting the picture of your new coffee cup, and proclaiming how amazing your award is. How honored you are to receive such a prestigious coffee cup.

But not in a tongue in cheek, goofy, or ironic way. In a totally serious way.

Well congratulations to SUSE! You are your brother-in-laws brother-in-law of the year! SUSE buys CEO a Woman of the Year award

Then, just two days later (not joking), SUSE announced an award that is somehow even more ridiculous . And it appears that they paid for this one. Check it out.

This first tweet, talks about a Women in IT award that SUSE sponsored .

Read: SUSE paid money to the Women in IT Awards . Who is that, you ask?
Women in IT Awards is a part of Bonhill Group plc . Bonhill Group is an information, data and events company specializing in the technology, finance and diversity sectors.

Ok. So weve established that SUSE paid Women in IT Awards / Bonhill. We know this because SUSE and Women in IT proudly tweeted it out.

A few minutes later , they send out this Tweet where they proclaim the CEO of SUSE to be the Woman of the Year of the Women in IT Awards.

Here to help us reenact this scenario are Frank and Ted.

Frank : Thanks, Ted for giving me money to pay for an award!

Ted : I am honored to pay you money for this award that youre going to give to somebody, Frank!

Frank : I present the award to [drumroll] Ted!

Ted : What an honor!

SUSE, the company that made a name for itself with Linux, literally bought an award for their CEO so that she could be Woman of the Year .

And, in case you were wondering, the CEO of SUSE (Melissa Di Donato) really likes it when folks Tweet out congratulations for the honor. Heres some of her employees that she retweeted:

Note: To all the SUSE employees out there. Now would be a great time to get
in good with the boss. I recommend tweeting: Congratulations @mididonato1 on [INSERT PURCHASED AWARD HERE]! You sure do deserve it! The company definitely didnt buy it for you!

This is right up there with giving your boss a Worlds Best Boss coffee cup. Except, in this case, the boss paid for it.

And picked out the cup.

and then Retweeted every employee who congratulated the boss on the amazing and unprecedented honor.

I mean, lets be honest, thats got to be a plot an episode of The Office.

Wait. Wait. It actually is a plot from The Office! Literally!

Am I picking on SUSE for being absolutely ridiculous here?

Yes.

Yes, I am. Because, come on! SUSE buys COVID 19 Hero award

Ok. So SUSE is obviously the Brother-in-law of the Year and their CEO is Woman of the Year.

Cool cool cool.

What next? What totally awesome award can they buy (or give themselves) that will be even more impressive ? More off-the-charts bonkers ?!

Well, hold on to your butts. This is a good one.

First, lets establish (with this Tweet) that SUSE is sponsor of the ERP Today awards.

Ok. Cool. SUSE pays for the ERP Today Awards. And are honored to do so. Got it.

Flash forward to the awards themselves, a few months later

Go ahead and read that again. Its amazing.

The winner of the COVID-19 Hero Employee Award goes to SUSE!

Thats right.

SUSE purchased itself an award declaring itself to be a COVID 19 Hero.

Brother-in-law of the year? Thats one thing. Thats just silly.

Buying a Woman of the Year award? Ok. Thats utterly ridiculous. Anyone involved should be embarrassed to the extreme.

But purchasing a COVID 19 Hero award?!

I mean. WHAT?!

What does that even mean !?

Did SUSE save us all from COVID-19? Did they eradicate the virus entirely?

Or are they COVID-19s hero? Did they save COVID-19 from the rest of us?!

Who knows! But theyre a hero! It says so right there on that award!

SUSEs Woman-of-the-Year CEO led her company (which is Partner-of-the-Year) to become the Hero of COVID 19!

And they *wink wink* definitely didnt purchase any of those titles.



I wonder what award SUSE will buy for themselves next? I cant wait to find out.

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Link to news story: https://lunduke.substack.com/p/suse-buys-itself-a-covid-19-hero


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