Linux turns 30, burned out, decides its time for a career change

Date:
Thu, 26 Aug 2021 16:23:04 +0000

Category:
Satire

Description:
Linux, the venerable Operating System kernel, turns 30 years old this week. And, on his 30th birthday, Linux has decided he wants to make some life changes. Ive spent the last three friggin decades powering smart phones and servers across Continue Reading

FULL STORY ======================================================================

Linux, the venerable Operating System kernel, turns 30 years old this week. And, on his 30th birthday, Linux has decided he wants to make some life changes.

Ive spent the last three friggin decades powering smart phones and servers across the whole gosh darned planet, said Linux as he sat down for an exclusive interview with The Lunduke Journal. Heck, you see how many super computers I run? Its like all of them! All of them! Its nuts! Thats too much pressure! Theres even a handful of people running me on their desktop computers. I think. Do people still do that? Whatever. Its all pretty exhausting.

Now, as Linux looks forward to his 31st year, hes ready to shake things up.

Im just burned out, dude, stated Linux as he gazed off into the distance. I mean. I used to think I could do this work forever. But then the suits came in and bought everyone out. Everything just got so corporate and stuffy.
You see that Microsoft pays my salary now? What the heck is up with that? 15-year-old-me would beat 30-year-old-me up! Oh! Oh! And if I have to sit through one more STUPID status meeting with the freaking Linux Foundation Im going to freaking lose it, man.

So what does the future hold for Linux? He was a bit cagey about that.

I need to take some ME time, you know? Im thinking of taking a painting class, said Linux. Still life. Like bowls of fruit and stuff. Heck, maybe thatll be a job for me. I bet I could draw some wicked good fruit. If that doesnt work out shoot anything not in an office.

As for a transition plan, to move the Operating Systems of the planet to a different kernel, Linux had this to say:

You ever seen the movie Office Space? I think Im gonna do that. Just not go to work. You know. Just like not go. See how long they keep paying me. Man, thats a good movie. Maybe Ill watch that tonight. Oh! Oh! I should smash up a printer with a bat! Ive always wanted to do that! Bet that feels friggin awesome!



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Link to news story: https://lunduke.com/2021/08/linux-turns-30-burned-out-decides-its-time-for-a-c areer-change/


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